Collide
by zgirl21
Summary: Jack and Rose are separated after the sinking...both end up in New York. Rose tries to keep the promise she made to Jack while he tries to make sense of the images that keep flashing through his mind.
1. Pain

_Author's Note: I don't own anything that has to do with the movie Titanic! I got the idea for this story from Howie Day's song, Collide. Anyways, I hope you enjoy…_

COLLIDE

Chapter One

Rose stepped off the Carpathia and was immediately thrown into a frenzy of reporters. Everyone pushed and shoved their way either away from the Carpathia or towards it, and she fought desperately to get as far away as possible. It was too much too soon. She had lost too much, there was so much heartbreak surrounding her that she found it difficult to even stand. She made her way over to a bench and quickly sat down, feeling overwhelmed by the crowd and the severity of her situation.

"Miss? Do you need to see the survivor's list?" A strange man asked kindly.

She managed to force a smile and shook her head. No, she didn't need to see the survivor's list. She already knew who had survived and who had died. Her lower lip began to tremble and tears brimmed in her eyes. No, she couldn't cry. He wouldn't want that. He wanted her to survive, to live for the both of them. Jack. The name almost escaped from her lips, but it wouldn't. It was far too painful to utter that name. Jack, Jack, Jack. He was gone. Surrendered to the icy waters that had taken Titanic with him. But he wanted her to live. And she would.

Nodding to herself in newfound determination, she abruptly got up from the bench and began to walk. She didn't know where she was or where she was headed, but it was a start. A step in the right direction. Suddenly, a smile broke out on her once grief-stricken face. Despite all of the pain and heartache, she was free of her chains. Free to go wherever and do whatever whenever she chose to. And she knew that somewhere, wherever he was, Jack was smiling down on her.

* * *

Jack Dawson stepped off the Carpathia with Tommy Ryan right behind him. The glare of the sun shocked his senses and he had to shield his eyes when he realized it wasn't just the sun that caused such a bright glare. Reporters swarmed the docks, like vultures waiting for their prey. The display sickened him and he was grateful that he and Tommy had managed to slip out of the crowd unnoticed by the reporters. They quickly left the dock and headed for the nearest shelter they could find.

"Jack, look! They're putting up Titanic survivors for free for a whole week!"

Jack's eyes flew to the sign and they quickly entered to arrange for a room. Once they were settled in, Jack threw himself onto his bed and began rubbing his temple.

"Another headache?"

Jack's eyes opened momentarily to reveal a concerned Tommy. He nodded and closed his eyes again. He just needed a few minutes to rest, that was all. Everything was fine. He heard footsteps and felt Tommy pat his shoulder.

"Don't worry. It'll all come back eventually." Tommy said reassuringly.

Jack cringed at his words, not wanting to be reminded of his predicament. Yet, Tommy's words brought back the memory of the previous day's events because that was all he could remember.

"_Jack? I'm Tommy. You don't remember me, do you?"_

_Jack shook his head, desperately trying to recall the man in front of him, but his efforts were in vain. _

"_The nurse told me that you know me."_

"_Yes, we were on the Titanic together. I haven't known you that long, but I want to try to help you."_

_Jack grimaced. "Thanks, but I don't need your help. I can manage just fine on my own."_

_Tommy laughed and placed a hand on Jack's shoulder good-naturedly. "You never seemed like the type to accept help to me. But that's exactly what I'm going to do. We're friends, Jack. I know you don't remember, but we are."_

"_How much do you know about me anyways?"_

"_Only the bare minimum I'm afraid. But I'm willing to tell you everything I know."_

And that was that. The first memory Jack had was waking up in a strange room, having absolutely no idea how he had gotten there. There were so many holes, so many nameless faces that flashed in his dreams. And it was so frustrating he couldn't think straight. Just the very knowledge that his life up until several days ago was a complete mystery was enough to make his head spin. But the faces overwhelmed his thoughts and flooded his dreams. There was a little girl with bouncing brown curls, a dark Italian man, a tall, wealthy-looking man, and a woman…she was always somewhere in his consciousness. Her porcelain face framed with fiery red curls. The smile that haunted his dreams. Those images were prominent in his mind and he wondered if they would ever leave. Yet, whoever she was, she was beautiful and part of him wanted those images to stay with him forever. But the other part of him wanted them gone…because he felt guilty. He had absolutely no idea who she was.

Tommy re-entered the room and met Jack's surprised eyes. Apparently, he hadn't known that Tommy had left. Silence encased the room for several uncomfortable moments until Jack finally spoke.

"I keep seeing these faces, Tommy."

Tommy nodded in understanding and quickly sat down across from where his friend sat.

"I might be able to help you with that."

Relief shown in Jack's eyes and the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"A little girl. She has brown curls and…"

"Cora. Her and her father were staying in the room next to yours. I don't either of them survived."

Jack nodded, a grim expression overtaking his once hopeful face.

"There's this dark-looking man. Sometimes I can hear his voice and he's talking to me about the Statue of Liberty…"

"That's Fabrizio. He was your best friend, Jack. From what you told me when we were on the ship, you two traveled all over Europe together. He didn't survive, Jack. I know that for sure."

Jack bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling. This was too much too soon. He didn't know how many more stories like this he could take. But he had to ask about the woman. He had to know if she survived.

"Tommy, there's one more I want to ask you about. I keep seeing her everywhere. She's gorgeous and…" He trailed off, not sure if he wanted to keep going with this one. Maybe it was better if he never knew.

Tommy's brow crinkled in desperation and frustration. He was talking about that first class woman, Rose. He had checked the survivor's list while they were still on the ship, but there had been no Rose Dewitt Bukater on the list. Maybe it was best that Jack didn't experience this loss. After all, he didn't remember her and Tommy didn't know much about what had happened between them anyways. Perhaps some things are best kept in the past.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I don't really know who you're talking about. She must have been someone you met before we did."

Jack simply nodded, slightly relieved that maybe she hadn't been on Titanic, that maybe she was out there somewhere waiting for him. But he didn't know her name, didn't know where she might be. His life got more depressing by the minute.

* * *

Rose Dawson couldn't believe her good fortune. The first restaurant she had tried offered her a job on the spot and there was even a room for rent above her new place of employment. It was a waitressing job but she knew it was the best she would be able to do for awhile. She needed more money before she could head out for the horizon that beckoned to her.

The first place she went was a nearby bank to deposit most of Cal's money and the Heart of the Ocean. She took out some of the money so she could get herself started. She would definitely need clothes and some furniture for her new home. Determined to enjoy her newfound freedom, she also found a bookstore and helped herself to several books that she was sure Cal and her mother wouldn't have approved of.

Making her way back the Marie's Café, she headed up the stairs and entered her room. Luckily, it already had a bed and with a little fixing up, she knew she could make it feel like a home.

After an hour of cleaning and minimal decorating, Rose stepped back and surveyed her handiwork. She nodded to herself with approval of a job well done and resigned herself to her bed. She sighed and rolled onto her side.

Suddenly, her heart constricted and her lips began to tremble ever so slightly. She immediately sat up and looked around her. She was free but that freedom had cost Jack his life. Without warning, the tears that she had been fighting back for too long began to flow freely down her cheeks. Her entire body shook from her muffled sobs and she began to punch her pillow in despair.

It wasn't fair. Jack should be here with her. He should be comforting her and holding her in his arms. He should be telling her how much he loved her and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But her wildest dreams were impossible and sometime she would have to face reality. Jack was dead. And she was alive. But at that moment, she didn't feel very alive. In fact, she felt very much like she had before she had met Jack. Trapped in a world of despair and pain. Except this time, the despair and pain was from a different kind of unhappiness, it was from her broken heart.

* * *

Jack ran feverishly down the street, in desperate search of some kind of store. Anything that would sell what he needed. Something had just taken over him and he couldn't stop the force that pulled him. When he finally found what he was looking for, he quickly purchased the items and ran back to his room in the same hurried fashion.

He ripped open the package and began drawing rapidly. He had to. He had to get the images out of his mind. As they appeared before him, he drew picture after picture in a frenzy of speed, sweat, and desperation.

When he had calmed down and looked back at the drawings he had just made, the first thing that struck him was the fact that almost every drawing was of some part of her. Eyes, a mouth, a smile, a shadowed figure, the back of her head, any image his mind had found he put on paper. In an rush of utter frustration and agony, he ripped the papers apart and threw them across the room. He stumbled out of the room, angrily wiping away the tears that had fallen down his cheek.


	2. Dreams

COLLIDE

Chapter Two

"Miss? Miss? Come on, when am I going to get my food?"

Rose sighed and wearily walked over to the angry yet very annoying customer.

"I'll bring it out as soon as it's ready, sir."

"You took my order fifteen minutes ago. This is only a café, how long does it take?"

Rose bit her lip, trying desperately not to snap back that he was an impatient jerk. But she needed this job too much. Calm down, everything's going to be fine.

"I'm sorry, sir. But it's not ready yet and as I said before, I'll bring it out as soon as it's ready."

She didn't wait for his reply for fear that she really would snap at him if he made any reply at all. And that's how her days went, some were better than others, but all in all, her days were long and exhausting. Sometimes, she truly missed the maids and not having to do anything all day, but then, she had to remind herself that if she went back to her old life, she would be chained again. Then Jack's death would be in vain. Then she would be breaking her promise to him. That's what kept her going everyday. Jack's face, his voice filling her mind. It was comforting to know that that would never subside. He would always be there for her, even if it wasn't in the flesh.

Tired from yet another long day, Rose laid face down on her bed and let her mind run. It was hard to believe that her life had been so different only a month ago. A month ago, she was engaged, wealthy, and had tried to kill herself. Now, she was much happier away from that old life, but something was missing from truly being able to enjoy it. At least she could take everything Jack had taught her and put it to good use.

She reached underneath her bed and pulled out one of her most treasured possessions. She ran a finger across the picture. It was so vibrant and alive. The clear blue water reflected the exhilarating image of the roller coaster and the pier just ahead of it. She could almost imagine herself there, almost feel the sand between her fingers. She had an image of herself riding a horse right in the surf, and like Jack had said, riding like a man. It made her smile just to think of everything she was going to do. She had to do it for the both of them.

She exhaled loudly and carefully placed her picture back in its spot. Then she willed herself to sleep. She needed rest for another day's work.

* * *

"Jack, when did you draw all these?" Tommy asked, gesturing to the pile of papers on Jack's bed.

"Oh…uh…I've been drawing for the last month. I've just kept them with my things. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left them on the bed." He replied, moving to clean up his mess.

"Don't worry about it, Jack. Do you mind if I take a look at them?"

"No, go ahead."

Tommy flipped through each drawing, catching glimpses of experiences Jack had had on the ship. He recognized the third class dining room, their room, the dance hall on the ship. It relieved him to see that Jack was slowly remembering. The doctors on the Carpathia had told him that it was very likely that Jack would get his memory back; it was a question of when. When his eyes grazed across picture after picture of Rose, he felt a chill run down his spine. He had been to the White Star Lines office several times that past month. Rose wasn't on the survivor list. He had even seen headlines in the paper about Caledon Hockley mourning the death of his fiancé. Rose was gone.

Jack watched Tommy carefully as he looked through his drawings. There was something Tommy wasn't telling him. He was almost positive about this. Just the fact that Tommy seemed to get very nervous whenever he mentioned the woman was enough proof for him. Tommy knew exactly who that woman was, he just wasn't telling him. It was eating him up inside, having these dreams of a beautiful woman that he didn't know. He needed his answers and Tommy had no right to keep that from him.

"Who is she, Tommy?"

The drawings in Tommy's hand trembled slightly and Jack could see him take a deep breath.

"Jack, I already told you. I don't know."

"Damn it, Tommy! You're lying to me! I know it!"

Tommy shook his rapidly, as if trying to convince himself that he didn't know who Rose was.

"I told you, Jack."

Jack angrily slammed his hand against the wall, creating a furious echo throughout the entire room.

"You're lying."

"Jack…"

"No…you know what? I'm leaving. I don't need this. You're not helping me if you're not going to tell me the whole truth."

Jack began throwing his belongings into his bag and tore his drawings from Tommy's hand.

"Jack, stop. I'll go. Besides, I've told you everything I know. How much more can I help you? And if you don't want to be around me anymore, well, that's alright. I should be moving on anyways."

Jack took several moments to ponder this new development and finally realized that if Tommy was willing to go, then he should let him. Surrendering was far too easy and he really didn't feel like trying to find a new place to stay. Sighing, he set down his bag and sat down on his bed.

"Fine, Tommy."

Tommy nodded, knowing that it was probably best anyways. He didn't feel right about lying to Jack about Rose, but he felt it was the only thing he could do. After he had packed his things, he walked up to Jack and they shook hands.

"I'm sorry things worked out like this, Tommy. And thank you for everything you've done."

"It's alright, Jack. I understand; I really do. I hope your memory comes back soon."

Jack nodded and watched Tommy walk out of the door and out of his life. Sighing, he threw himself on his bed, suddenly feeling very empty and alone. Without a second's thought, he went downstairs and headed for the first bar he could find.

* * *

"Miss? Why haven't you brought my food yet?"

Rose closed eyes and forced herself to paste an insincere smile on her face. She turned around and found herself face to face with the customer. She felt his eyes run along the length of her body and she felt vomit rise in her throat. It never failed…almost every day she encountered this.

"Sir, I'll bring it out as soon as it's ready."

The man nodded and she noticed for the first time that he was considerably older than her. She barely held back a shutter and somehow managed to keep the fake smile plastered to her face.

The man reached out in attempt to touch her hand and she quickly reached for the pen in her pocket. Thwarted but not completely defeated, the man smiled slyly and tried to start up a conversation.

"So…you've been working here long?"

Rose eyed him suspiciously and quickly decided that this needed to stop now.

"Not very long, sir. And I'm not interested so you can stop, ok?"

"God, lady…I was trying to give you some attention. You look like you need it."

She just nodded and walked away. She knew it was the only thing she could do yet the man's words continued to roll through her mind. Was it true? She quickly ran her hands through her unruly curls and straightened her dress. She knew she didn't look that bad. But she was lonely. She guessed that was evident on her face to even a stranger.

She was sick and tired of the constant passes at her from male customers. She wasn't leading anyone on yet it still continued. Even if a decent man should ask her out, she didn't think she would be able to bring herself to do it. It just felt like a betrayal even though he was dead. The pain was still too fresh and she missed him more than she could ever express. It was worst at night, when there was no one. She was really alone at night. There was no one to hold her, no one to kiss her. But she didn't want just anyone. She knew who could fill that hole in her life and cure her loneliness. But he was gone.

* * *

"Want another one, Mister?"

Jack eyed the scantily dressed woman with disdainful eyes. He had absolutely no interest in what she was scandalously suggesting with her emotionless eyes. Despite this, he raised his shot glass so she could pour him another one.

"And miss? I'm not interested in any of your…favors, so you can just quit, ok?"

The woman snorted and haughtily replied: "Fine, mister. But you don't know what you're missing."

"No, I think I do." He shot back as he gulped down the drink. He smirked in his drunkenness as the woman walked away, swaying her hips to try to find the next potential customer.

"Don't worry about her, she's just working."

Jack turned around and was met by soulful brown eyes. The woman smiled good-naturedly and moved a little closer to him. Suddenly, he was severely uncomfortable and found himself inching away from her.

"What's your name?"

Jack cleared his throat and forced a smile.

"Jack Dawson."

"Abby Taylor."

They shook hands and Jack ran a hand nervously through his hair. He wasn't really sure how to act in these types of situations, yet he wasn't sure he wanted to either. While Abby started talking again, her brown eyes were replaced by vibrant green ones. Her blonde hair transformed into red curls. He found himself imagining that woman again. For some reason, talking to Abby made him feel like he was committing a betrayal. There was some connection with the green-eyed, ruby-haired beauty and he couldn't shake her image from his brain. Every woman seemed to transform into her to him and Abby was no exception.

"Listen, Abby, I really gotta go home now."

"Oh…why?" Her eyes showed her sincere disappointed and they seemed to plead for him to give her a reasonable excuse.

"I…uh…have to start looking for a job tomorrow. I really can't do that if I'm drunk, now can I?"

Abby laughed and said a quick goodbye to a relieved Jack. Without looking back, he walked out the door and headed back to his room. The effects of the whiskey still clouded his brain yet those eyes…that hair…that image was still perfectly clear and he fell into a drunken sleep, dreaming of that image.


	3. A Realization

COLLIDE

Chapter Three

The little girl squirmed impatiently in her chair. Jack smiled and continued his drawing, meeting the eyes of her amused grandpa and they shared a quick chuckle. Once Jack had finished, he quickly signed it and held it up for the little girl to see.

The little girl smiled widely and reached for her picture.

"I love it, I love it, I love it! Thanks you, Mr. Dawson. It looks just like me."

Jack smiled and handed the drawing to her.

"I'm glad. It was worth sittin' in that chair, wasn't it?"

The girl nodded and sat back down in her chair, studying the drawing carefully. Jack and the girl's grandpa shook hands.

"So Mr. Dawson…"

"Jack."

The older man chuckled and continued: "Jack. Do you come to Central Park often?"

"Ah, yes I do. I do most of my drawings around here."

"Well, Jack that was very impressive work."

"Thank you."

"And you've made a certain granddaughter of mine very happy."

Jack laughed. "Well, I aim to please, sir."

"That's good to hear, Jack, because I own a gallery not too far from here. My name's Bill Harper and I would love to feature you as an artist in my gallery."

Jack's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Wha…I mean…are you serious?"

Bill laughed and nodded his head.

"Of course, Jack. Your work is truly exquisite. I know we both can make a lot of money if you work with me. How many drawings do you have?"

Jack scratched his head in thought.

"I have a bunch at my room. I could be back in a few minutes."

"Please. Bring whatever you can."

Jack nodded and quickly headed to his room.

* * *

Rose sighed and laid back down in her bed. Her stomach was finally starting to feel better after almost three hours of vomiting. This was not good. Somehow she had known all along that this was going to happen to her. So she really wasn't all that surprised when she had begun vomiting several days ago. Yet, a part of her wished that this wasn't happening to her. If Jack couldn't be there with her, then she didn't want this. But then again, this was her only way of hanging on, of keeping his memory alive. His child would be able do that better than she ever could. A part of her was ecstatic that she was having Jack's child, but the other part of her was so sad. Sad that Jack would never see his child. Sad that their child would never know its father.

She needed to stop this. First, she needed to go to the doctor and get herself checked out. Then she could figure out everything that needed to be figured out. After all, she did have about eight months.

* * *

"Well Rose, you were right. You are indeed pregnant. About three months along actually. You're in perfect health and don't worry, the morning sickness will pass eventually. Make sure you take these vitamins once a day and follow the nutritional guide in that pamphlet. I would also like to see you about once a month for a checkup if that's alright with you."

Rose nodded. "Of course, Dr. Milbert. Whatever you think is best."

"That's good to hear, Rose. You're fine for now. Make sure to make an appointment on your way out."

"Thank you."

The old man smiled kindly to her as she left his office. His nurse smiled equally kindly to her as she walked over to the desk.

"I need to make an appointment for next month."

"Alright, dear. When are you free?"

"Mornings."

"Alright. How is the twentieth at nine o'clock?"

"That's fine."

"Alright. How far along are you?"

"Three months." As the words came out, Rose paled. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Three months. It had been only a little over a month since she had been with Jack. That could only mean one thing…

"Oh my God."

"Mrs. Dawson, are you alright."

"Oh…yes, I'm fine. I just remembered something I forgot to do."

The kind nurse simply shrugged her shoulders and continued to finish setting the appointment up for Rose. As soon as she was finished, Rose practically ran out the door.

Oh God, oh God, oh God. This couldn't be happening to her. Not now. Not when she had already lost Jack. This was too much for her to handle. It was bad enough that she was going to have to raise a child on her own. But everything was completely different now that her child was the product of Cal and Rose's dysfunctional relationship. One could hardly call it a relationship. Why did life have to be so unfair? She had finally found the love of her life, only to have him be stolen from her several days later. She had had some consolation by having Jack's child, but now that was stolen from her as well.

* * *

"I must say Jack, your work is astounding! Can I take these from you right now? I could have in them up in the gallery first thing tomorrow morning. What you say, Jack?"

"I reckon that's a wonderful idea."

Mr. Harper gave Jack a hearty slap on the back.

"Best news I've heard in ages, Jack. Trust me, you and I will make a great team! You'll be reeling in the money in no time!"

"I can't wait, Mr. Harper."

"Come on now Jack. Call me Bill."

"Well then I guess I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning, Bill."

"Yes you will."

After shaking hands, Jack and Bill parted ways. As Jack walked back to his room, he couldn't believe his good fortune. Talk about being in the right place at the right time. Or maybe it was just fate? He wasn't sure if he even believed in fate. In fact, he didn't really know much about himself at all.

Tommy really hadn't been much help. He could only clarify bits and pieces of the images that Jack constantly saw. And Tommy knew next to nothing about his past. All he really knew was that he was from Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin. Well, at least it was a place to start. He had to have some family or friends there that could help him.

Jack looked back down into his portfolio and his eyes grazed the drawings of the woman. He smiled as he remembered the way Bill's eyes had lit up at the sight of those drawings. He had had to tell Bill that those were not for sale. For some reason, he couldn't bear to part with them. He felt that there was some deep connection with this woman that he couldn't explain and couldn't put a name to. Those drawings were the only thing he had that kept that connection alive.


	4. Meeting

COLLIDE

Chapter Four

"Rose, you really need to rest more. I know you are well aware that this is going to be a difficult pregnancy. You need to stay as far away from stress as possible. I also think that you need quit your waitress job. Being on your feet all day is the worst possible thing for you right now. Not to mention the stress that goes with that kind of a job."

"But…I can't just quit my job. I make good money there. I can't just quit. What will I do?"

"I'm sorry Rose, but that's my recommendation. You need to take care of yourself. Besides, I'm sure you could find something where you didn't have to be on your feet all day. And, you still have a long way to go in your pregnancy. You can work, just try to find something as stress free as possible."

Rose nodded, still not reassured by Dr. Milbert's words. She completely understood about staying away from stress, but how was she going to find another job? She would most likely have to move from her apartment above the café and then have to find somewhere else to live. Nothing seemed to be going her way anymore. Not only did she have to deal with her job, Dr. Milbert had been right about it despite her unwillingness to admit it, she now had to deal with a 'high-risk' pregnancy, finding another job and another place to live.

Rose sighed in exasperation and headed out of Dr. Milbert's office after making her next appointment. Time to start looking.

* * *

"What did I tell you, my boy? Ten drawings this week! Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!" Bill exclaimed.

Jack was speechless, still in shock over his newfound success. Ten drawings in one week. Seven had been sold last week and eight the week before. Not to mention the fact that Bill had each one selling for about a fifty dollars.

"I guess the rich really like their art, huh?" Jack replied good-naturedly after finally finding his voice.

"They love their art, Jack. And now they love you too."

Jack could only smile and sat down by Bill's desk.

"When will you have some more drawings for me? We're almost sold out of what you gave me in the park."

"Oh, I'll have at least two more for you by tomorrow. I was thinking about heading to Central Park to work some more."

"That's where you do your best work, Jack. Listen, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you about."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Those drawings you have of that gorgeous woman, have you given any more thought about selling a few of those?"

Jack laughed politely and shook his head. "I've already told you, Bill. Those aren't for sale."

Bill returned the laugh and Jack's easy smile. "I suppose if I were you, I'd want to keep them for myself too. She must have really been something. What was she like?"

Jack's expression quickly faded and was replaced by a much somber one. "I don't know Bill."

Bill placed a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder. "It'll come, Jack. Just give it time."

"I have been giving it time. It's been, what, almost three months since I got off that ship and I can't still remember her. I can't remember anything! I don't know who I was, where I've been. I can't make sense of any of these faces that I keep seeing because I don't have any memories to place them with!"

Jack practically leapt off the desk and headed for the door, leaving Bill behind.

* * *

Rose walked slowly into Central Park, somewhat depressed at the outcome of her job search. She should have known it wouldn't go the way she had hoped. She should've known that it would be hard for a single and pregnant woman to find a decent job. She had a few potential employers that she was a widow, but they hadn't seemed to be believe her, especially given the fact that she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. It wasn't really a lie, she had had to tell herself. She had to believe that Jack would have married her. She couldn't think about the alternative. She couldn't think about his reaction to her having Cal's baby.

She shivered uncontrollably despite the warm breeze that blew around her. It wasn't like her to be so pessimistic. However, in her situation, she assumed that anyone would be pessimistic. After all, she was pregnant with the child of a man she hated and she was almost positive that Jack wouldn't have wanted to deal with her baggage. She knew that the life she dreamed at night about probably wouldn't have happened anyways. Not her current condition anyways. Maybe if it was Jack's child…even then she wasn't so sure. He had never even told her he loved her. So how did she know he wouldn't have just left her on the Carpathia or alone in New York?

Silently cursing herself, she shook her head, as if trying to shake her thoughts from her mind. She couldn't think of Jack that way. She loved him. She had been sure that he had loved her too, until recently. But he was dead and she would never truly know. She just had to trust what her heart was telling her and forget about the horrible thoughts she was having. Jack was gone, Cal was never going to find her, and there was nothing else she could do. Her situation wasn't going to change just because she wanted it to.

"Miss Dawson?"

Rose looked up and had to keep herself from grimacing. It was that awful girl from the café. She always seemed to follow Rose around. She had good intentions but she never left Rose alone when they were working together.

"Oh, hello, Emily."

"What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

"I was just getting some air. Trying to clear my head."

"Oh I see. Do you want to talk about it? I mean, sometimes, it helps if you talk to someone."

"Trust me, Emily, you don't want to know. You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you or if you did, believe me, you wouldn't want to talk to me ever again."

"Ohhhh, ok. Whatever you say, Miss Dawson."

"Emily, how many times have I told you to call me Rose?"

"I don't remember, but, Miss Dawson just seems more proper."

Rose shook her head in mock disbelief and politely patted the bench for Emily to sit down.

* * *

Jack sat on a bench, working intensely on a drawing of two kids flying a kite. The elation on their faces drew him in and it was the perfect scene to capture. But a voice caught his attention…

"Miss Dawson?"

It practically jerked him out of his seat and he abruptly left it to walk closer to where the voice was coming from. As he drew closer to a nearby bench, he saw two women talking with their backs turned to him. One of the women had fiery red hair and his breath drew in rapidly. No, it couldn't be her. The woman had called her Miss Dawson, not Mrs., and he was pretty sure he wasn't married. She had to be his sister or a cousin, some kind of relation. Whatever she was to him, she had to someone who could tell him about his past, so he had to meet her.

As he got closer, he could hear what they were saying more clearly.

"What are you doing here all by yourself?"

"I was just getting some air. Trying to clear my head."

They were sitting on the bench now and he was so close he would almost touch her. Well, it was now or never.

"Miss Dawson?"

* * *

Emily was talking endlessly about their boss at the café and was boring Rose practically to death. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, she felt a wave of nausea hit her. She lightly covered her mouth with one hand, and put the other on the edge of the bench for support.

"Miss Dawson, are you alright?"

Rose nodded weakly and was about to speak before she heard the voice she never thought she'd hear again.

"Miss Dawson?"

Rose flung around and her mouth dropped in shock. It was a ghost. It had to be. She wasn't going insane. No, no, no…he was dead. She had seen his body float into the ocean. His name wasn't on the survivor's list. But he was here…standing right in front of her.

"Jack?" She whispered.

Jack couldn't believe his eyes. His instincts had been correct. It was the woman that dominated his dreams and his drawings. She was real. He wasn't insane after all.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you…" He trailed off when he saw the expression on her face. She looked like she was going to cry, then within moments, she looked almost like she was being tortured.

Rose didn't understand. Why wasn't he leaping over the bench to embrace her? Why wasn't he kissing her right now? Why was he looking at her like he didn't know her?

"Jack? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Jack's brow furrowed in confusion, then realized that she had no idea that he wasn't sure who she was. "I'm sorry, Miss Dawson…"

"No, don't be sorry. I understand, you don't want me anymore. I get it now. You never really loved me, did you?" She quickly turned on her heel and walked briskly away, leaving Emily and Jack behind. Inside, she was absolutely fuming. She had known all along that this would happen. She should have listened to her head. Wait…he had called her Miss Dawson. He couldn't have known she had taken his name…

She immediately turned around and paled at what was going through her mind now.

"Jack…"

"Miss Dawson, I should have told you right away. When I woke up on the Carpathia, I had no idea who I was, where I was, or how I got there. I can't remember anything that happened to me. And I don't know who you are either. I'm sorry to tell you…"

Rose covered her mouth in shock. Suddenly, the world was spinning around her and she felt like she was going to be sick. No…this wasn't happening. Not now. It would have been better if he just didn't love her anymore. Then everything went black…

Jack cried out in shock and quickly caught her before she hit the ground. Casting a worried glance to Emily, he carefully picked her up and carried her back to his room.


	5. Some Answers

COLLIDE

Chapter Five

Jack watched his mystery woman carefully from his chair next to the bed. Through his artist eyes, he surveyed the features of her face, the soft texture of her hair, the slight smile on her lips. Ever since he had brought her back to his room after she had fainted, he had realized that none of his drawings had done her justice. She was far too beautiful to capture on paper. He had been watching her for almost the entire night and now it was nearly morning, but he wasn't the least bit tired. He was rooted in his chair, unable to draw his eyes away from the vision sleeping on his bed. If only she would open her eyes…

_The dawn is breaking  
__A light shining through  
__You're barely waking  
__And I'm tangled up in you  
__Yeah_

Suddenly, the angel's eyes began to flutter open, as if she had been reading his thoughts in her sleep. She turned slightly, now half-awake, and began to rub her eyes slowly. Then she shot up in bed, now well aware that she was not in her own room. She began to look around frantically until her eyes collided with deep blue ones.

"Jack." Her voice was almost inaudible and he had to strain to hear her.

He nodded in response and found enough courage to sit on the edge of the bed. She shied away from him slightly, and moved closer to the opposite side of the bed. Taking her obvious hint, he quickly took his previous seat and ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I just don't know what to do."

He smiled weakly and replied: "Neither do I."

Several awkward moments passed between them. Neither of them really knew what to say. Rose could only contemplate the fact that he didn't know who she was while Jack realized that this woman had all the answers. He didn't know how he knew this, he just knew. He also knew that there was something else there between them. They definitely had a past. But what was it?

Finally, in a gracious act, Rose broke the uncomfortable silence. "Well I suppose I should introduce myself to you," she paused, then laughed sarcastically before continuing. "My name is Rose Dewitt Bukator."

He put out his hand and she shook it in spite of herself.

"Nice to meet you, Rose. I'm Jack Dawson."

"I already know who you are." Rose replied with a smile.

He easily returned her smile, feeling more at ease now that the ice was broken between them.

She patted the spot next to her on the bed, despite her pounding heart, and he cautiously sat back next to her.

"Rose, I don't even know where to start…"

"It's ok, Jack. I understand. You don't know who I am and I get that."

He was silent, and at that moment, he realized something that he had missed before.

"When I met you in the park, the woman you were with called you Miss Dawson. But just now you told me your last name was Dewitt Bukator. Why is that?"

"It's a very long story, Jack. One that I don't think I'm ready to tell."

He paused, yet again, and tried to gather up his thoughts. There was definitely something with Rose. He just couldn't place it. He couldn't figure out exactly what his connection was.

"Well, you see the thing is, I've been having dreams about you. Every night actually. It never fails, it's almost like you're haunting me. I've drawn you at least once a day and I can't get your image out of my head. I know there's a reason for this. And you're the only one who can answer my questions."

Rose sat still, shocked yet touched by his words. So he did remember her, to some extent at least. It was comforting to know that he hadn't completely forgotten about her. There was still a connection. After all, he was having dreams about her as frequently as she dreamt of him.

_I'm open, you're closed  
__Where I follow, you'll go  
__I worry I won't see your face  
__Light up again_

"Jack, I don't know how to explain it to you. We only spent a few days together, but there's so much to tell."

"You mean you don't know me that well after all?"

"I've only known you a few days, but I feel like I've known you all my life."

Jack sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Suddenly, he wasn't sure what he was going to hear. Yet, he wanted to. He needed to hear what she had to say. He needed the answers that only she could give.

"Tell me, Rose. Tell me everything."

Rose sighed and began her recollection: "We met on the Titanic. I was a first class girl, engaged to be married actually, and you were in third class. I remember the first time I saw you. You saw me from the third class deck and just stared. I couldn't help but stare back."

She paused, trying to determine if he was remembering any of what she was saying. "Do you remember any of this, Jack?"

He shook his head sadly before replying: "I'm sorry, Rose. I wish I did, but I don't."

She nodded in understanding and continued their story: "I tried to jump off the back of the ship later that night. You pulled me back over. You talked me out of it. That moment changed everything for me. That was the moment you gave me a second chance. I suppose the rest is just details really. What's most important is that you taught me how to live, you taught me how to love. We fell in love, Jack. Deeply in love. I even told you I was going to get off the ship with you. But then the iceberg happened and we were separated in the water. I thought you were dead."

Jack sat next to her in complete silence. Her words slowly registered in his brain and he felt tears forming in his eyes. They were in love. He had loved her. She had loved him. But everything was different now. But then again, the only thing that had really changed was his memory. You don't remember feelings, you just experience them. He still loved her. His dreams and drawings were clear proof of that.

"Did I ever tell you that…"

"No, we never said that. But I always knew. It's what's gotten me through the last couple of months. Some days were harder than others, though, because I've never known for sure how you felt, how you feel about me."

He swallowed nervously, in a poor attempt to slow his racing heart.

"Rose, I…"

Then something took over him. He couldn't understand, but maybe he didn't have to. He leaned forward and kissed her with all the love and passion within him, as if to make up for lost time, as if to tell her that he still had feelings for her, that he still loved her. Rose was surprised at his move at first, having not expected him to get that close to her. But she quickly returned the kiss and met him with equal love and passion. The kiss seemed to go on forever, and without either of them realizing, he slowly moved on top of her and the kiss intensified.

To her horror, Rose remembered her 'delicate condition' and quickly pushed Jack off of her. He wiped his mouth and could only stare at her in a mixture of pain and confusion.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I just think we're moving too fast for now. It's been so long. I just want to take this slow."

He nodded and pulled her closer to him, and kissed her lovingly on the forehead.

"I'll wait as long as you want me too. I'm not going anywhere, not anymore."

She smiled and was quickly engulfed in a hug from Jack. But her smile faded as she remembered that sometime she would have to tell him. And then he wouldn't want her anymore. He wouldn't hold her like he was now. He wouldn't kiss her like he had before. He wouldn't want to have anything to do with her. But she didn't have to tell him right away. She wanted to savor these moments for as long as she could, because she knew that once she told him that she was pregnant with another man's baby, he would kick her to the curb faster than she could comprehend.


	6. A Proposal and a Runaway

COLLIDE

Chapter Six

Jack shifted in on the bed and listened to the rain tapping lightly on the roof above him. He sighed and turned over to watch Rose. She had fallen asleep some time ago, but he had been unable to sleep. Their story still fresh in his mind, he had tossed and turned for hours now. It was as if he was living is some sort of dream. He had just found out that the mystery woman was really the love of his life. He didn't need to be told that they had been in love, that they still were in love. All he had to do was look into her eyes and he knew. Everything was alright now even if his memory never did come back. He had Rose now and that was more than enough for him. He had been given this miracle, this second chance for reasons completely unknown to him. As he watched her in her sleep, he realized that he would never to able to let her go now. He had seen her, touched her, kissed her and there was no going back.

To his amazement, Rose's eyes fluttered open at that moment and her mouth curved into a soft smile.

"Hey."

He smiled back at her and rubbed his thumb across her jaw. "Hey."

She moved closer to him and laid her head on his chest. "Jack, why weren't you sleeping?"

"I couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind I guess."

Rose nodded in understanding and moved even closer to him. Remembering her condition, she quickly readjusted herself so that he couldn't feel the slight swell of her stomach. She thanked God that it wasn't really visible yet, but it would be soon. Then he would leave her and that would be it.

He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly, making her fears fade away for the moment. He kissed more deeply now, wanting to feel more of her, but she quickly pushed him away as his hand began to slide towards her stomach.

"What's wrong, Rose? I thought that…"

"I'm sorry Jack, I just…I think we're moving too fast. I just found you again. You just found out about us. I don't want to rush this, especially when you don't even know who I am."

"I know who you are, Rose."

"You don't know what you're saying. You're just trying to make me feel better." She quickly got up from the bed and began to pace.

"I do know what I'm saying…"

"No, you don't. How can you when yesterday you didn't even know I existed."

"Rose, would you stop? Please? Just calm down and listen to me." He took her firmly by the shoulders and made her sit on the edge of the bed. "I may not have known your name yesterday, but I know you existed. How else can you explain the dreams that I've had? Rose, feelings don't just disappear. I love you. I love you, Rose."

Rose's mouth dropped open and she leaned back on the bed for support. What did he just say?

"Rose, did you hear me? I said I love you."

Rose looked at him and finally realized everything that he had been saying. So what if he didn't remember how they feel in love? He still loved her and that was enough. He was here, he was alive, and she couldn't ask for anything else.

"I love you too, Jack."

He grinned and his eyes sparkled, making her laugh softly. He pulled her closer and kissed her deeply before whispering in her ear: "Marry me."

"Jack…"

"We love each other, Rose. We're alive. We survived. I can't just turn away now knowing that you're real, that you're not just a figment of my imagination. Say you'll marry me, Rose. Spend the rest of your life with me. Let's get married."

Rose's lips caught his infectious grin and she kissed him happily.

"So is that a yes, then?"

She laughed and was about to answer, but then she remembered one important little detail. He had to know. And she couldn't lie to him and tell him that it was his baby.

"Jack…"

His smile quickly faded when he saw the look on her face. Something was wrong. She shouldn't look so sad when he had just proposed.

"What?"

"There's something you need to know."

He nodded and sat next to her on the bed, taking her hands in his. "Whatever it is, I can take it. Just tell me."

She smiled faintly. "I'm pregnant, Jack."

She watched with a heavy heart as the look on his face shifted from complete shock to joy.

"Rose, this is great! I can't believe it! I'm going to be a father! Why didn't you tell me before?"

She bit her lip and wiped a stray tear from her eye. "Jack, you're not the father."

Jack looked like he had just been slapped and he quickly got up from the bed and walked over to the window. She couldn't see his face but she could see his shoulders heaving as he leaned onto the windowsill.

Finally after an unbearable silence, she finally heard him speak: "Tell me, Rose."

She walked closer and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, almost crying out when she felt him tense at her touch.

"My ex-fiancée, Cal, he's the father. The doctor told me that I got pregnant before I met you."

"Did he force you?"

She paused at his words, pushing away any hope that maybe he would understand, and tried to forget that he didn't sound angry with her.

"He said that he had a right to my body because we were to be married. I never loved him but I thought that he was right. I tried to fight with him the first few times, but then I realized that it was only making it worse."

He turned around and gazed at her with tear-filled eyes. "You should have told me."

"I…I know. I'm sorry, but I didn't know what to do. I'm still in shock that you're alive. I'm not completely sure that I've accepted the fact that I'm pregnant with Cal's child yet either."

He nodded and reached out to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that."

She felt another tear fall down her cheek as his hand brushed her cheek. He was just trying to make her feel better, then he would tell her that he couldn't be with her. That he couldn't raise another man's baby. That he couldn't marry her.

"I know that now. Listen Jack, I'll be alright. I've learned how to survive these last few months. I don't need you to try to take care of me out of obligation. I'll leave now."

With that, she turned on her heel and fled the room.

Jack felt like he was in a daze as he watched her run from the room. It wasn't his baby. Rose was having another man's baby. The father of her child was a man that had forced himself on her. It was all too much, too much too soon and he couldn't handle anymore. He sank down on the bed then quickly shot back up. What the hell was he doing? Rose had just left, in the middle of the night no less. Without a second thought, he quickly ran down the stairs and began searching for her.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
__Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
__Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
__I somehow find  
__You and I collide_


	7. The Lie

COLLIDE

Chapter Seven

Jack flew down the stairs and ran onto the street, searching frantically for Rose. He looked up and down the street, and to his relief, he recognized her figure. He immediately began chasing after her and called out her name.

"Rose!"

She froze for a split second, pushing away the glimmering hope within her as she realized that he had come after her. She dared to turn around and grimaced when she saw him light up at the sight of her face. She quickly turned back around and began walking more briskly toward her apartment.

"Rose, wait! I gotta talk to you!"

She shook her head at him even though he couldn't have seen it, and started running as fast as she could. He easily caught up to her and grabbed her elbow so she could face him, a little more roughly than he had intended. She tried struggling out of his grasp, but quickly realized that her attempts were in vain.

"Would you quit it, Rose? Come on, just look at me. Why won't you look at me?"

She furiously shook her head and still refused to look at him. She wasn't going to give in that easily. Besides, what good would it do? He would say whatever he wanted to say, probably that she could always turn to him, that he would always be there for her, but after that he would walk away and so would she. For reasons unknown to her, she allowed herself to take one glimpse of his face. One look into that face and all ability was gone. Her knees felt like they were going to give out and suddenly, the strain of the day's events came rushing in on her and she fell into Jack's waiting arms.

He caught her easily and desperately held back the urge to kiss away the tears that were now running down her cheeks. She didn't want that. She had made that perfectly clear to him. But he had to at least tell her…

"Let me at least walk you to your apartment. Can we talk then?"

She nodded slowly and he eased her back into a standing position. With his hand lightly steadying her, they began to walk in the moonlight. The air was thick and their silence was even thicker, neither one wanting to be the first to speak. Not being able to stand it any longer, Rose surprised Jack by breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"I'm sorry I ran out of there like that. I suppose I should've stayed so we could talk a little longer."

Jack nodded. "Don't worry. We're talking now."

She smiled faintly at the laughing glint in his eyes and suddenly became aware of the apparent distance between them. Wasn't it just moments ago that they had been in each other's arms, kissing, and laughing? Wasn't it just a moment ago that he had asked her to marry him? But no…Cal had won, just like he always did. There was no way they could be together. He didn't even remember who she was.

"Rose, what happened back there?"

She took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. This was it. "I don't expect you to still want to marry me, considering the fact that you didn't even know my name a day ago. I don't expect you to want to raise another man's child either. I can't place responsibility where it doesn't belong and you've…you've always been a drifter. I don't think you'd want to settle down anyways."

His eyes narrowed at her words and he coughed lightly to give himself some time to think. What did she think she was doing? She couldn't just push him away now that they had found each other.

"What makes you think…"

"There's no use arguing, Jack! What's done is done. It was done before we even met."

"Why do you want to throw this away?"

"You can't lose what you never had, Jack."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"Explain it to me, Rose."

They were yelling at each other now, their anger slowly boiling over with each uttered word. But their anger wasn't necessarily directed at each other.

Rose closed her eyes in attempt to suppress her anger. After her plan had taken root, her eyes flew open. Now she knew how to get Jack out of her life forever.

"I'm sorry Jack. I've been lying to you. I'm not really who I say I am. My name's not Rose Dewitt Bukator. I was on the Titanic, in third class, and I did meet you. I danced with you at one of the steerage parties actually. But you only had eyes for Rose and I never had a chance with you. I heard your doctor telling you that you had lost your memory on the Carpathia and I saw my opportunity to get a father for my child."

Jack took a step back, completely taken by surprise by her revelation. His eyes narrowed once again at her words and he decided to investigate this further.

"Why tell me this now?"

Rose paused for a moment, desperately trying to come up with something, anything that would satisfy his curiosity. God, she hated herself for this…but it really was for the best for both of them.

"I realized what a fool I've been. I don't want someone who doesn't really love me. Your mind will always be on her."

"But I thought you were Rose." He prodded.

"Yes but…_I_ know that I'm not really her. I don't think I could have lived with myself if I had let this go any further."

Jack's eyebrows rose slightly and he nodded. "I understand. Thank you for being so honest with me…Miss…what is your real name by the way?"

Rose swallowed, which did not go unnoticed by Jack, and she quickly spurted out the first name that came into her mind. "Molly Calvert."

"Ah, Miss Calvert. Pleasure to finally meet you."

Rose looked at him anxiously, and sighed softly when her apartment building came into view.

"Well, Jack, this is me. I'm truly sorry for everything that I've put you through the last few hours. I've been stupid and heartless."

"But you did it for the best interest of your baby, right?"

She nodded quickly and hurried up the stairs, grimacing when he continued to follow her.

"Goodbye, Miss Calvert."

"Goodbye, Jack."

He took her hand and ever so softly, placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. Rose turned hastily, and let herself into the apartment, trying desperately to hold her tears at bay.

Jack watched her leave with a look of slight amusement on his face. Oh she was good. He had to hand it to her, that was definitely one of the best lies he could remember hearing, especially if she had just thought of it on a whim. He saw right through her lies, of course, knowing that she was too scared to even think straight. He knew she thought she was doing the right thing, but he knew better. And he wasn't about to let her get away that easily. Now all he had to do was catch her in her lie. He would be back, now that she had blindly shown him where she lived, and he would keep coming back until she admitted that she loved him and that she wanted to be with him. He would have given anything to comfort her, to wrap his arms around her in a warm embrace. But Rose was stubborn and she wasn't going to surrender without a fight. But then again, neither would he.


	8. Reunion

COLLIDE

Chapter Eight

Rose threw herself on her bed and sobbed. It just wasn't fair. She had finally gotten him back. He wasn't dead and now they should be together. But if it wasn't for the baby…wait, that wasn't fair either. It wasn't the baby's fault, she knew that. Maybe she had overreacted, maybe she had made a huge mistake in lying to Jack. At first, it seemed like the only way, but now…she wished he was there to comfort her, to hold her, to tell her everything was alright. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to sleep, she needed her rest. If not for herself, then for the baby.

Before long, she had fallen fast asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Rose entered the café to start her shift. She quickly observed that there weren't very many breakfast customers and silently rejoiced for that. She was too tired to even think. Sleep may have come easily the night before, but it was a restless sleep. She had tossed and turned the entire night, probably because she felt too guilty to allow herself to rest peacefully.

Sighing lightly to herself, she headed to her first table and stopped dead in her tracks at what she saw.

Jack sat there, calmly reading the newspaper. Suddenly, as if he sensed her presence, Jack looked up and smiled brightly at her.

She groaned at the sight of him and placed her hand on her hip.

"Good morning, Molly."

"What do you want, Jack?"

Jack frowned. "Is that how you greet your customers?"

"Just you."

"Oh I see. You don't like me anymore?"

Rose rolled her eyes and took out her pad of paper. "What can I get you, Jack?"

"Coffee. Black with no sugar."

Rose nodded, quickly jotting down the order and started to walk away before he stopped her.

"Molly, I'd like to see you again."

Rose quickly shook her head, suddenly very nervous at the present situation. "I don't think so Jack. I thought I had made everything perfectly clear last night."

"Yeah, well maybe I still have some questions I need answered."

"I can't help you."

"You can't or you won't?"

"Jack, don't do this. Why can't you just let me be?"

"Is that what you really want?"

Rose opened her mouth to reply to him but was stopped by Emily's voice: "Rose, table 15 is still waiting."

Rose could only stare at Jack in shock, knowing that her lie was now exposed. Jack, on the other hand, looked up at her with a big smile on his face.

"Rose?" Emily said again.

Rose raised a hand lightly to her stomach, feeling very faint and turned to Emily.

"Emily, can you cover my tables for a moment? I don't feel very well and I'm going to take a quick break."

Rose quickly bolted for the door without even waiting to hear Emily's response. Once she had gotten outside, she headed straight for a bench nearby and sat down. She covered her face with her hands, taking deep breaths, barely noticing the approaching footsteps.

"Rose?"

Her head shot up at the voice and she stared into the sincere blue eyes of the love of her life.

"Jack, I don't know what to say…"

"You don't have to say anything. You don't look too good. Are you feeling alright?"

Rose shook her head softly and he sat down next to her on the bench. He rubbed her back soothingly and placed the other softly on her stomach.

"You need to think about the baby."

Tears welled in eyes as she took in his words and his actions. It was his way of telling her that everything was going to be alright. That he wouldn't leave her. That he would take care of her and her baby. And at that moment, she was willing to let him.

"You don't have to do this, Jack."

"Rose…"

"No, Jack. Just listen to me for a second. I promise I won't run away again, I just want to say this. We barely know each other, only a couple days actually. And the fact is, you don't even really know who I am. You don't remember me and you don't remember anything about our relationship. I will completely understand if you walk away from this. I won't blame you and I won't try to find you."

Jack smiled softly and took her hand in his. Rubbing his thumb lightly over her knuckles, he raised it up to his lips and kissed her hand gently.

"You know I knew you were lying the whole time, right?"

Rose groaned and put her head on his shoulder in shame. "I was hoping you didn't. I guess I knew deep down that you would find out sooner or later. I just didn't think it would be the next day."

He laughed softly at her words and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. "It was a little too convenient, don't ya think?"

"I suppose you're right."

They smiled at each other. Within a matter of seconds, his expression drastically changed and he leaned forward to kiss her gently, then with building intensity. She pulled away before they got too carried away.

"Jack, I have to go back to work."

"Right, and I have to get my coffee."

They laughed and he helped her off the bench. As they started walking towards the café, he stopped her and made look at him.

"My offer still stands, Rose."

Rose froze and her mouth opened slightly at his words.

"What?"

He leaned closer and whispered into her ear: "Marry me, Rose."

She looked at him then smiled brightly. She pulled his face towards hers and kissed him deeply before answering. "Yes, Jack."

Jack's handsome face broke into a huge smile and he spun her around in his arms. "Rose, you don't know how happy you've made me."

"That's good."

They smiled at each other again, then realized that Rose really had to get back to work now. Jack took his place back at his table and this time, was able to watch Rose at work with pride. She was his, or least, she was going to be. He really couldn't be happier. He knew that she would give herself away, and he had been waiting patiently for her to do so. Another thought crept into his mind, causing him to smile. He was going to be a father. He would be the best father he could be. His smile grew even bigger as he thought of the surprise he could give Rose that night. He would take her shopping, first for a wedding ring, then for some things for the baby. He could only imagine her shock when he told her how much money he had been making off of his drawings.

Rose walked over to him, smiling brightly, and delicately poured him his coffee.

"Rose, can I take you out tonight? I have a surprise for you."

She smiled as he reached out to lightly stroke her hand. "Of course, Jack. I can't wait."

"Good, when do you get off?"

"Four."

"Alright. I'll be waiting for you at four."

"You better be." She replied as she walked away. He watched her and couldn't stop himself from smiling. He was so happy he thought he would burst.

A few minutes later, Jack decided to leave to let her work. After saying goodbye to his new fiancée, he walked briskly out the door, whistling softly to himself.

Rose could only shake her head at the man that held her heart and couldn't believe her own good fortune. Wasn't it just a few days ago that she was still mourning him? Now he was here, alive, and had asked her to marry him.

The day progressed like any other, until suddenly, Rose became very nauseous. She felt light-headed and had to grip the edge of the counter for support.

"Rose? Maybe you should sit down." Someone nearby said to her.

But she didn't hear. She felt so weak, so tired. Suddenly, without warning, she felt herself falling, before everything went black.


	9. Bad News

COLLIDE

Chapter Nine

Jack walked briskly towards the café, whistling happily. He looked down at the roses in his hand and hoped that Rose would like them. How could she not? She was their name sake after all. He shook his head, hardly able to believe the events of the last few days. He had found her, lost her, then he found her again, and by some struck of luck on his own part, she had agreed to marry him. He didn't think his life could get any better…then his thoughts drifted to the baby she was carrying. Honestly, he didn't care that the baby's father was her former fiancé. Jack loved the mother, so he loved the baby. That's all there was to it.

His heart beat quickened as he took the steps two by two and opened the door to the café, trying to look somewhat casual. He immediately scanned the café for Rose and frowned when his eyes were unable to find her. He walked over to the counter and motioned for one of the waitresses to come over.

"What can I do for you?"

"Have you seen Rose? She works here and she said she was done at four, but I don't see her."

The waitress bit her lip nervously and met Jack's intensely blue eyes that had now begun to cloud with worry and concern.

"She passed out a few hours ago. Someone took her up to her room, she lives right up stairs if you didn't know…" She looked at Jack expectantly to see if he did.

Jack nodded impatiently, not caring for the detail that she was giving him. What happened?

"There's a doctor with her now…"

Jack didn't even let her finish. As soon as he heard the word doctor, he turned and ran out the door. He immediately jumped up the stairs and knocked quickly on the door.

A man opened the door and Jack immediately tried to push past him.

"Sir, you can't come in here!"

"Yes, I can. I need to see her. Please, just let me in!"

"She shouldn't see anyone now…"

"Who the hell are you anyways? If you're not the doctor, you'd better leave now."

"Relax, son. I'm Dr. Milbert, Rose's physician. I've been treating Rose for the past few months now."

Jack nodded, feeling a bit more relieved at the doctor's words.

"So let me in."

"She shouldn't see anyone right now…"

"I'm the baby's father, damn it. Let me in!"

At that, Dr. Milbert froze, then nodded quickly, allowing Jack to rush past him.

Jack was immediately at Rose's side. His eyes searched her face for some sign of life and he sighed with relief when he saw her lips move. Her eyes where closed, but she was alive, she was breathing. He put a comforting hand on her forehead and moved it to her cheek.

"Sir?"

Jack looked up at the doctor with an annoyed expression on his face, then it turned into a concerned one when he saw Dr. Milbert's somber expression.

"We need to talk."

Jack nodded and stood up to walk to where Dr. Milbert stood.

"Sir…"

"Jack."

"Jack, I don't really know how to tell you this. But…she miscarried. It was a high-risk pregnancy and she has been under serious stress the last few months." He put a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder and tried not to grimace as he watched the young man's reaction.

Jack felt like he had just been punched in the stomach. Suddenly, everything around him was spinning and he shut his eyes tightly to keep himself from going over the edge. He rocked back and forth, trying to make some sense of everything that had just happened. With sad, worried eyes, he looked at Rose and exhaled loudly. He wondered if she even knew yet. He winced and put a hand to his now aching head, realizing that the pain in his head almost matched the pain he felt in his heart.

His heart broke even more as his eyes settled on Rose again. What were they going to do now? Just hours before they had both been so happy, so in love, with so much hope for the future they were going to have. Now the future that he had been planning for the past few hours seemed none existent because the baby had been in all of his plans.

Rose had already been through so much, he didn't think she would be able to handle anymore pain. He looked at her worriedly as she began to stir and slowly walked over to her bed. He surveyed his surroundings for the first time since he had arrived at Rose's apartment and bit his lip nervously. Rose lived here? It was a dump and he grimaced as he noticed that Rose had obviously tried to make something out of it through some meager decorations. He vowed to himself right there that Rose wouldn't ever live like that again. He was thrown from his thoughts when he heard her whispering softly.

"Jack?"

He immediately sat next to her on the bed and gently took her hand. "I'm here, Rose. I'm not going to leave you."

She smiled weakly and he leaned down to place a tender kiss on her forehead. She felt tears begin to form when she realized what she would have to reveal to him. He would be so devastated by her grim news. Would he leave her now? Now that there was no baby, there really was no longer a reason for him to stay with her. Despite the thoughts that circled around in her mind, she took a deep breath.

"Jack, there's something I have to tell you…the baby…it didn't…" She couldn't finish and let out a loud sob.

"It's alright, Rose. The doctor told me already. I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you. I should have been there for everything. This is all my fault, Rose. I'm so sorry."

Rose shook her head furiously at his words and let go of his hand. "No Jack. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. Dr. Milbert told me right from the start that I had to be careful, that I had to get a lot of rest, and eat well…and…I didn't listen. I work so much and barely have the time or money to have a decent meal. This is my fault. I should've taken better care of myself and listened to my doctor's advice. He even told me I had to get a job that wouldn't keep me on my feet all day. I looked for about a day, then just gave up. I didn't try hard enough…I didn't try hard enough…"

She broke into sobs, covering her face with her hands as he gently took her in his arms. He rubbed her back soothingly then took her face in his hands.

"Rose, look at me. This is not your fault. It just…wasn't meant to be. Maybe…everything will work out in the end. Maybe this baby, this time in our lives…wasn't meant to be. There will be other babies, Rose, I promise. We're still going to have the life that we planned, Rose…" He trailed off and watched for some reaction from her.

She simply nodded, being far too tired to argue with him or to even really deal with the pain she was experiencing in her heart.

"Rose, you should rest."

She nodded again and motioned for him to lie down next to her. He leaned his head on his propped elbow and stroked her hair lovingly.

"Talk to me, Jack. I want to hear your voice."

He nodded to her and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"I used to have dreams about you, you know. I shouldn't say used to because I still do. But you were so beautiful, your hair flowing around you, your lips were moving but I couldn't hear the words. All I knew was that you were someone important, someone special, someone worth living for. I hoped and prayed that somewhere, you were alive and felt the same way about me."

She smiled softly and yawned tiredly. "Keep talking, Jack."

"Well…uh…you want to know how I knew you were a big, fat liar?"

She smiled and nodded quickly.

"You caught me off guard with that but after the shock wore off, the only thing that kept running through my mind was your face when we first saw each other in the park. You looked like your heart had been ripped out when I told you I didn't remember you. You just looked like you were being tortured, like your entire world had just faded in a split second. I realized that someone who would try to trick me wouldn't have been so upset by my memory loss. You gave yourself away long before you ever thought of the lie…but then, you were just trying to do what you thought was best…"

He looked down and smiled at her sleeping face. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. He knew he would never see anything so beautiful for the rest of his life. And hopefully, if she would still have him, he would get to see her everyday, for the rest of their lives.


End file.
